The Hamster From Zot

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The Ham from ZOT

Agent 8 is given an assignment to track a Moving company, and he finds a dark secret.
A parody of the 1960’s TV series “The Man from UNCLE“, about a secret Hamster organization, sworn to protect mankind.



At the front of a herbal Medicine store on Rehov Agrippas, in Jerusalem a Muscle Builder looking Male hamster, Secret Agent 8, enters the secret entrance of זאת headquarters.
A very sexy looking Female Hamster, Secret Agent 87, running to the elevator: “Hold”
Agent 87: “Haven’t seen you in a few 8.”
Agent 8: “Just got in from the Continent, How are you 87?”
Agent 87: “Can’t complain, 2s in a mood today.”
Agent 8: “Got Cha.”
Agent 30, Miss. Sweetums is the secretary to the Boss of ZOT.
In Agent 30’s office, Agent 8: “Hello, Miss Sweetums, I need to see 2.”
Agent 30: “Just a moment.”
“You may go in now 8.”
Agent waiting in line thinking: ‘Big Shot.’
Agent 8: “Hello Sir!”
The Boss, an ageing, overweight, Agent 2, Good to see you 8…. have a seat.”How is the Voltart investigation coming along?”
Agent 8: “Fine fine here’s the codex from the Chinese RFID chips.”
Agent 2: “I have another assignment for you.””There is a moving Company that is placing listening devises in people’s armchairs. Also… We have discovered new U.F.O.s whose base camp is over Jerusalem. This next assignment will be dangerous.”
Agent 8: “No problem.”
Later; Agent 8: “looks like we will be working together 87.’
Agent 87: “R.M.C. (Rat Moving Company) is dangerous, we’ll need a plan.”
Agent 8: “We will need disguises.”
Agents 87 & 8 are disguised as rats. Next to a R.M.C. Moving Van, Agent 8: “Wait here… I will try to ask where the warehouse is… I speak rat.”
Agent 8 to Rat Mover: “I’m looking for a job with Rat Moving Company.”Rat Mover: “You can contact the boss at 35 zelzol St. in the sewer.”
Agent 87: “Did you find out their headquarters?”
Agent 8: “Yes… In the sewer pipes. The boss is Ed-gorvitch and … now for the hard part… riding on the 8 bus during rush hour.’

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Agents 8 & 87 track down the rat Moving companyThe Rat Moving Company and the UN are spying on Mankind for world control.Page 2
Agent 8: “I’m going to disable their computer with a new program bacteria.’
Agent 87: “I detect a redioflux catolic signal.” Squirrels as poor porters.
Agent 8 spying at the rats: “get ready set to stun.”
“They won’t remember a thing.’ They stun the rats.
In the Rat Moving Company office, Agent 8: “There, I found the password.” ” Almost done.”
Agent 87: “Hurry up. Let’s go!”
Agent 8 and 87 on the Egged 8 bus.
Agent 8: “I sent the word to 2.”
Agent 87: “With all this work you’d think they’d give us a car! Those poor squirrels slave labor!”
Agent 8: “That should set those Rats back a while.”
Agent 87: “2 wanted us to check out that UN worker on Adam St. After that I want dinner.”
Agent 8: “he lives up in that apartment there.”
“This will allow us to listen into the apartments. Let’s see.”
Bug: “Miriam where’re the Metamucil? I can’t seem to go.”
Agent 8: “Not that Apt! Ha Ha.”
Bug: “I’m sick of those odd Rats- friends of yours coming here every night!”
Agent 8: “Apt. #8! We’ll have to return at night. I’ll bug their cars.” Next to the UN car.”I’ll put the mic under the dash.”
Agent 8 walking away with Agent 87, “H.Q. has got to give me a car. better cover at night.”
Agent 87 and Agent 2 next to a street cleaner, Agent 87: What! That’s a street cleaning vehicle!”
Agent 2: “it’s a great cover 8. and it’s all we have available.”

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A new immigrant family is shopping in the Shuk.The Mystical Elect of the World and the Ham from ZOT.Page 3
Mr. Whiskers: “don’t know what’s worse, N.S.A. using tracking devises on credit cars or Voltart Co’s RFID Chips sold in everything we buy..”
“I heard it on coast to Coast AM… on my filling – they put people in FEMA death camps..”
Sugar, Mr. Whiskers’ daughter: “Oh Daddy.”
Mr. & Mrs. Whiskers on the 8 bus, Mr. Whiskers: “The US State Department are using Dogs as spies now… What we need are a few good pit bulls here.”
At the Shuk, a Hamster is chasing a Cat, Mr. Whiskers: “What was That!” to Mrs. Whiskers.
Mr. Whiskers: “I know my vision is limited, but I saw & felt a hamster chasing a cat with glasses on.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “At the Shuk? You mean a cat chasing a mouse?”
Mr. Whiskers: “No a hamster chasing a cat with glasses on.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Perhaps we need to go home now.”
Mr. Whiskers: “Hamster, it was a hamster.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “I think you need to go home. Mice casing cats.” ” You’re dehydrated, drink some water!’
Mr. Whiskers: “yes, Dear.”
Agent 8 thinking: ‘Man… I lost him maybe he went this way.’ to his cell phone: “listen. he had an amulet on him and he levitated a fish! I believe he’s a member of the ‘Mystical Elect of the World’! M.E.O.W.”
M.E.O.W. Operative QD Cat thinking: ‘That was close! A ZOT operative was chasing me.’
Operative QD Cat: “Operative QD calling in… I have the amulet. Beam me up!” The Cat disappears in a transporter beam.
At Mr. Whiskers home, Agent 71 in her cage (Mr. Whiskers Hamster) on her cell phone: “Zot Headquarters… Let me speak to 2, this is 71. yeah, Mr. Whiskers was talking about seeing a hamster chasing a cat at the Shuk today. You say that 8 was there today and saw a cat levitating a fish? For Real? I don’t know, maybe he should be here, locked up instead of me.”

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An immigrant family shops at teh local Supermarket.Just Google RFID Chips, Privacy, WalMart and Bank Credit Card 4
Next week; At Mr. Whiskers home, Agent 71 in her cage (Mr. Whiskers Hamster) on her cell phone: “Hello, HQ I need to talk to 2, or maybe 5, this is operative 71. Yes, yes, no, no but I’m really tired of this location. I need a change… and this cage needs to be changed!” “Aren’t I due for a vacation soon? Alright well yes Mr. Whiskers mentioned tracking devises placed in peoples credit cards. He’s been getting his info from his mercury fillings in his teeth. Id really like to go to South America some place warm. Well, talk to you tomorrow bye.”
Spice, Mr. Whiskers’ daughter: “Hi Mom – Did you buy Romen today?”
Sugar and Spice, Mr. Whiskers’ daughters, are fighting over who is to change Agent 71’s cage, Sugar: “You’re so inconsiderate.”Spice: “You’re so selfish.”
Sugar: “I’m so selfish, you haven’t changed hammy’s cage in weeks.”
Spice: ‘Then you do it.”
Agent 71: “It would be nice if someone changed my cage.”
Later; Mr. Whiskers and his wife are at the Super market.
Mr. Whiskers: “If I use this credit card, chances are National Security Agency will find out exactly what’s in our shopping cart.” “They’ll know exactly what cereal you buy. The Fat in our milk.”
“They’ll have on record that you bought chocolate spread every week!”
“They’ll know what stores we visit, how much money we spend, even create a data graph as to our every day movements.”
Mrs. Whiskers hands the Checkout Clerk a credit Card:”I didn’t bring cash.”
Mr. Whiskers: “Dear, now they’ll know everything we did today.”
At home, Mrs. Whiskers thinks: ‘This is too much.’
Mr. Whiskers: “It’s better to take out cash; We’ve got to use cash! How many times do I need to remind you… They’ll take us away.. Go right on…”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Dear, Change the hamster cage, It smells.”
Mr. Whiskers: “Yes, Dear.”
Agent 71: Finally, Thank heaven!”

The Ham from ZOT: information please

How Mr. Whisker gets his information

besides the internet which is the real news source, we have Mr. Whisker’s tooth. Something out of the 1970’s SEARCH TV series.

Alien taking photos.
Mr. Whiskers looking at his filling, He thinks: “My filling is going on again.”
Filling: “The Federal Reserve banks have decided to increase inflation of American currency by 15% as they are desperate to pay off debts to Siamese Cats. Big Bankers Case Mice are the enemy of the working poor.”
Mr. Whiskers: “I wonder… if I should put all my money in an Israeli Bank?”
Agent 71: “Oh… They’re so rude though.”
Filling: “Chase Mice has bought off 4 more failing banks in the United States… only the “Big Cats” have survived this year’s banking crisis.”
Fat Cat Banker: “Buy Everything!”
Mr. Whiskers: “I’m thinking of having this darn filling remove.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Well then go to the Dentist.”
Mr. Whiskers: “then I’d have to actually go to the Dentist.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “I guess you would.”
Agent 71listening to the Filling. Filling: “Laid off squirrels have been seen with picket signs at many businesses today… The unions won’t be satisfied until their demands at Bud’s Market be met. Picketers have been harassing those who dare to cross the line in the parking lots this morning.”
Agent 71: Oh my gosh…. I need to speak directly to 2,4, or 7… Mr. Whisker’s tooth has more to report… American currency inflation at 15%… debt to Siamese Cats. Big Cats Chase Mice banks… Squirrels on strike… Union demands.”
Spice, Mr. Whisker’s daughter: “Why is hammy making so much noise?”
Agent 71: “Eek Eek Squeek Squak.”
Mr. Whiskers: “Oh Well… at least it’s not in video.”

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Buy locally and save.

There may be an alternative locallyA Yeshiva in Jerusalem, Men are studying.
Somewhere in the world (China) a Siamese cat is taking an internet order: “You wish to purchase this product code # 389 269 5452 9 89… Tracking # 566 8666… And that will be $100 for extra shipping costs, insurance fees…. Taxes and currency exchange costs.”
A Plane flies overhead.
Supervisor Postal Cat: “We received this package via Deer mail… Please take this to Mr. Paws on Straus St. Via #3 bus in Jerusalem.. In Back of the secret home of Rav Baker.”
Postal Cat thinking: ‘ I wonder what’s inside. It says fragile.’
Supervisor Postal Cat: “We shall expect you back at 22:00.”
Postal Cat: ” Yes, Sir.”
Supervisor Postal Cat: “Once we finish, I want you to come stay for Shabbat.”
Alien looking at the 2 Cats: “Woow!” Beep
The Alien Spacecraft: “Shabbat! wow Beep.”
Postal Cat walking on the rooftops.
Postal Cat with his iPad to Mr. Paws: “Plesae put your paw print on the recept.”
Mr. Paws with the Mystical Crystal iPhone. He tries and tries to turn it on. It does not work,”Dead on Arrival”.
Mr. Paws puts it back in the box: “Err Grrrr Oh!”
Mr. Paws to his wife: “I tried to save money buying on E-Bay… but it’s too expensive to ship it back… It’s broken. I guess I need to buy it local.”
His Wife: ‘Oh, Expensive.”

Buy locally and save. You may find a equivalent product locally at a cheaper price and with less stress and worry if something goes wrong. Remember to include the cost of Shipping, Insurance, Customs, and the cost of shipping the product back if something goes wrong. Also it may take a month to get your product from America. It may have to be examined by customs, both here and in the States.
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A Vegetarian Diet is actually great tasting and good for you

A vegetarian diet is not only healthy by lowering your weight and cholesterol, but is good for the earth.

A vegetarian diet is not only healthy by lowering your weight and cholesterol, but is good for the earth.

2001: A Space Odyssey centrifuge The ultimate Hamster Wheel

2001: A Space Odyssey centrifuge; The ultimate Hamster Wheel

Mrs. Whiskers is at the Doctor’s office. Doctor: “You’re seriously overweight, you have extremely high cholesterol. I will give you a new medicine for the cholesterol.”
Mrs. Whiskers: Sigh.
Doctor: “And I need to tell you need a complete lifestyle change. Are you exercising?”
Mr. Whiskers: I’m not saying a word.
Mrs. Whiskers: “I don’t have a car anymore so I walk so much now.”
Agent 71 (Mr. Whiskers Hamster): “I go on my wheel all night long. I suggest buying a wheel.”
Doctor: “I suggest a vegetarian Diet.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Thank you. Doctor”
Agent 71 (Mr. Whiskers Hamster): “Let’s hear it for Animal rights.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “I’m so tired and it’s only 2:00.”
Mr. Whiskers: “Did you eat lunch?”
Agent 71: “I love raisins!”
Mr. Whiskers: “Here have some lentils and rice.”
Agent 71: “yum!”
Mrs. Whiskers: “this is sooo depressing… now its lentils & rice.”

Vegetarian Times is a great magazine
OK, a Vegetarian Diet is actually great tasting and good for you.

OK, a Vegetarian Diet is actually great tasting and good for you.

Page 2
Mrs. Whiskers:”If I was younger I’d exercise… but I’ve no energy… who cares hum… this says eat onlly organic produce & grains.”
“This book says for women to not eat fruit except lemons and limes. No flour, wheat, yeast beard or sugar of any kind.”
“New medicine says avoid citrus fruits.”
Agent 71: “I honestly think this is way too much info.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “this magazine says not to eat beans, tofu soysauce… don’t eat gourds, carrots but eating meat is ok… well, not for me.”
Agent 71: “that’s gross.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “I’m left with greens, potatoes, veges rice and millet… seeds”
Agent 71: “Sounds like the Hammy Food Plan… have some of mine.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Well, I’m still having my cocoa and soy mild.”
Agent 71: “Nobody’s perfect.”


In the Dungeon

Dungeons and Dragons is a multi-player role playing game in the internet, in which you battle monsters and other evil elements. Something like the Crusades of the Middle Ages or the Middle East of Today.

Dungeons and Dragons is a multi-player role playing game in the internet, in which you battle monsters and other evil elements. Something like the Crusades of the Middle Ages or the Middle East of Today.

Are you sure we’re going the right way?Shh! I thought I heard something.

Yes, yes…we need to maximize our
position to insure we can kill the vampire.

That’s all very well, but I don’t think we can kill a vampire.

Let me look in the book.

Yeah, you have to disapperate it or something and
I don’t have a spell for that, do you?

No….I’m not that high yet. What if we do it all together?

No. We have to take turns.

Wait, shoot it with a silver bullet.


Come let’s try this tunnel..

Last time we followed you we met a dire-rat and we got blasted.

The Girls are playing Dungeon and Dragons. They successfully enter the next level.
Here….you carry this blasted torch and I’m checking the walls for a doorway.Let me try, I can use my were-rabbit to find the entrance to the vampire’s chamber, get the gold and return to the hag by the river and collect our spells.

What if Elf-hearts rabbit fails?

I’ll cover Elf-heart and her were-rabbit.


The were-rabbit is released into the tunnel and finds the covert entrance to the Vampire chamber where the chest full of gold is hidden. They successfully kill the Vampire with a silver bullet and Elf-heart, Black-blood, and Cat-tongue continue on to the Hawthorn Orb Master before seeking the Hag at the river to collect their new spells.

What now? How many times can you use that were-rabbit?
Twice a day, so maybe we should reserve her for ….just in case.
Get out your new spell scroll of the hawk-seeker, Black-blood.
Let’s try it on that pathway to see where to go.

This is very dangerous,
Elf-heart, Cat-tongue, stand back!

Use your shield now Cat-tongue!

A great blast ensues and Black-blood, Elf-heart, and Cat-tongue enter the next level successfully.


The Girls are playing Dungeon and Dragons. They are celebrating at the inn.
Did you see how I pushed the spell ten times the power!Yeah Black-blood. So now what?

Let’s get a bit to eat at the local pub…got any gold?

Yes a few pieces….what about you Cat-tongue?

Yeah….I have some in my secret pink velvet pouch.

At the Inn….

We’ll need a plan….

Let me digest this spaghetti and grog ale first.

Yeah, let’s just eat first.

I say we get a room at the inn for the night and
continue our quest tomorrow. Those may be trolls
coming in….keep a low profile.

Hey….What are you talking about tomorrow…it’s my birthday tomorrow.

Yeah, Dad said he’d take us out somewhere.Where to, we go out loads.

I’m not sure, somewhere nearby I guess.

Spice, Sugar, can you get off the computer
and help set the table!


The Ham From Zot: Mr. Cheaps

James Bond 007 Movie Theme Music


The Ham The Ham from Zot Agent 8: “Hold!”Agent 87: “Good Morning 8.”

Agent 8: “Good Morning 87.”

Agent 2: “Morning, I have a new assignment for you both.”

Agent 2: “Please, sit down..we have made an exciting breakthrough with M.E.O.W. And we need you both to investigate further.”

Agent 2: “What we have discovered is a M.E.O.W. Operative we think is working at a store called, Mr. Cheaps Market by the Honey booth on Agripa Street. Your job is to observe and report daily activities.”

Agent 2: “I don’t have to tell you how important this is…any questions?”

Agent 8: “Ah the market…do you see anything feline?”

Agent 87: “Look!”

Agent 8: “I see it.”

page 2Agent 8: “I wonder if it’s a secret door or entrance? My tricorder doesn’t register anything beyond this.”Agent 87: “Oh, look out.”

Beauregard : Speaking with a strong Panhandle Texas accent, Beauregard offers, “May I help yoooouuuuuwww?”

Agent 8: His eyes pop,“Ah, yes just admiring your store….do you have any organic tahina?”

Beauregard : “Why yes sir, of couwwrse…this is our finest, grade A in 2 sizes.”

Agent 8: “Perhaps the smaller size.”

Agent 87: “I think we’re being watched, I got some good pictures, let’s go.”

Agent 8: “Do you think it was an entrance?”

Agent 87: “We could come back and observe, day and night, I’ll call H.Q.”

Beauregard: “Shalom yaaalll, yes this is Beauregard heeeere, I believe 2 Zot agents were in the stowwre.”

M.E.O.W. Operative Sapphire: “Yes…..thank you Beauregard, I believe they are agent 8 and 87 from Zot….seen them before…keep a watch out, they could prove dangerous, over and meowt.”

M.E.O.W. Operative Sapphire: “If those hamsters even find an agent or amulet they’ll never understand it all Ruby.

M.E.O.W. Operative Ruby: “They’re industrious yet haven’t the brain capacity. What I’m worried about is that they have discovered one of our terminals…we may have to relocate it…purrrhaps in the lady’s restroom. I don’t wish to have any undue attention drawn to our terminal. We may need to contact the (Outer Edge) for advise.”

The Ham from ZOT: What’s wrong Mom?

Mother to her daughter Spice: “Ever since we’ve moved I have lost my identity, I’m suffering from memory loss… I’m in a downturn.”
“When I was young I’d be able to pet my cat… but I’m so allergic to them and we’re not allowed a cat or dog here.”
Agent 71(Mr. Whiskers Hamster): “Suddenly I feel discounted.”
The Daughters; Sugar and Spice: “Do you like Ulpan?”
Mother: “Sigh… the teacher started telling us that in Hebrew (Semitic languages) there’s no “am, is,and are” it doesn’t exist… and there’s no present.”
Agent 71: “No presents! Does this mean I don’t get anything for my birthday?”
Mother: “If people only think about the past and the future… then they miss out on the NOW. Could this be a key to the problems in the Middle East?”

Page 2
Agent 71 here… I need to report to 5.”
Agent 71: “Hello 5, some more key info.”
Agent 71: “The humans are starting to think the problems in the Middle East stem from no presents.”
Agent 5 hangs up the phone.
Agent 5 hands Agent 71’s report to Agent 2. Agent 2:”Perhaps Agent 71 does need that vacation… or therapy.”

Happy Purim 5771

Agent 2 (the Boss) wearing a Cat mask: “Meow.”
Agent 30 (Miss. Sweetums) is scared and Mad!: “*@*^%$^&!!!”
Agent 87: “Oh my.”

Purim shopping on Ben Yehudah St. Jerusalem March 2011

Teenagers Purim shopping on Ben Yehudah St. in Jerusalem, March 2011

The Ham from ZOT: Captured by MEOW

in honor of Johnathan Pollard and the other Prisoners of Zion
Aliens to M.E.O.W. Cat: “Even now ZOT agents are infiltrating M.E.O.W. H.Q…. They must be apprehended.
Cat: Right-oo I’ll send Beauregard.”
Beauregard listening on his cell phone to the Cat: Check the back of the store right now!”
Beauregard in shock finds the two ZOT agents going up the stairs in the back. Agent 8: “Always too many stairs.”
Beauregard to Cat: “Dang hamsters have gone through the secret terminal.”
Cat: “Use your Phaser!”
Beauregard fires his Phaser at the hamsters.”
Two Cat Guards with Phasers march Agents 8 and 87 to their Dungeon Cells. Guard: “Forward!”
Agent 8: “Don’t worry… We will escape.”
Agent 87: “Yes 8″
Fat Campbell Soup Children to Ronald McDonald: “Hey…Are they torturing you?”
Thin Ronald McDonald: “yeah thy only give me Campbell’s Soup.”
Fat Campbell Soup Child: “What! Oh that’s funny…They only been giving us McBurgers.”

The Ham from ZOT: The Escape

Ham from ZOT The EscapeCat 1 and Cat 2 at M.E.O.W. headquarters (see Secret Orders).
In the Dungeon of M.E.O.W. headquarters are Agents 8 and 87. Agent 87 in her own cell. “8… I think we need to escape tonight.”
In a separate cell, are a Migrating Bird and Agent 8. Agent 8: “All right 87 that laser knife cut the bars enough… we’ll have to wing it.”
Bird: “Did someone say wing it?”
Agent 87: “Tonight then.”
Guard walking by cell. Agent 8: “Are you ready?”
Agent 87: “Now or never.”
Agent 8: “Okay.”
Bird: “Take me with you.”
The three of them are escaping.
Agent 8 and 87 are on the back of the Bird. Agent 87: “Thank heavens we’re out. The food was terrible.”
Agent 8: “At least we got a flight out without going through security.”

The Ham from ZOT: Let Us not forget who we are.

The Ham From Zot: Let us not forget who we are, page 1Aliens petting Monkey
M.E.O.W. Headquarters; Two cats and the Captain, Cat 1: “Those 2 ZOT agents and one migrating bird have escaped our holding cells Captain?”
Captain: “Yes Sir… Apparently they cut through the bars.”
Cat 2 to Cat 1: “Alka-Seltzer or Tums?”
At ZOT Headquarters:
Agent 30 (Miss. Sweetums):”2 is waiting for you.”
Agent 2 (the Boss): “Well, you two managed to escape… Come, sit down.”

The Ham From Zot: Let us not forget who we, are page 2Page 2
At 2’s Office Conference Table, Agent 2: ” 8 and 87 Tell me…” “Did you retrieve any photographs or maps,. Pick up any devices we can utilize?”
Agent 87: “We procured a migration bird who didn’t have a driver’s license.”
Agent 2: “Sigh”
Agent 8 “It might have been a more successful operation if we’d had invisibility cloaks on.”
Agent 2: “Boy, you’re making about as much sense as the current President of the United States!”
Agent 8 “Let’s not get insulting sir.”
Agent 2: “Did they take your Tricorder 8?”
Agent 8: “No Sir… got in my pouch.” As he reaches into his mouth to put out the Tricorder
Agent 2: “Let us not forget who and what we are.”


The Hamster from ZOT :Men!!The Monkey in chair is laughing at the tied up Alien.
Mr. Whiskers at his computer: “It’s better for Israel to have a Christian running the White House than a Muslim.. Obama is in Ireland getting drunk. Tornadoes in the Midwest.”
Sugar: “How do I look?”
Spice: “Erm.”
Sugar: “What??”
Mother looking at the skirt: “Change the Skirt.”
Sugar: “Oh! mother, fine then!”
Sugar and Spice leaving for school: “Bye”
Mother: “Have a good day.”
Mr. Whiskers in rumpled clothing: “Hum… Maybe I’ll actually take a shower and change my clothes today.”
Wife looking shocked: “Eew!”

The Ham from ZOT: Hiring

The Hamster from ZOT: HiringAgent 36 and Agent 71 are sitting at ZOT headquarters.
Agent 36: “71, I can’t believe you’re leaving H.Q. after all these years!”
Agent 71: “Living in a cage for 2 years isn’t living.”
Agent 71 looking at her retirement envelop: “I’m going to rent an apartment in Haifa and if I like it, I’ll buy it.”
Agent 2 (The boss): “We’re going to have to find a replacement for Agent 71. All that Mr. Whiskers info is very valuable.”
Agent 36: “You’ll have to find someone who has no life, likes to eavesdrop and gossip.”
Agent 36: “And not only that, how are you going to convince the humans to take on another hamster!”
Agent 124 handing a application to Agent 36: “I’m Agent 124 and I’m applying for the job of cage spy. — I’m fully qualified with a 100% cuteness quotient.”

The Car Acura Car Cover Sales Acura Car Cover Sales page 1Page 1
Side banner: “the”
Customer Service Cat with headphones on the computer: “‘’ for all your car cover and car parts need. This is the place. How can I help you today? … My name is Rizzo.”
4 eyed Martian Woman at the computer: “I’ve seen your website for
and need a car cover and see you sell seat covers and brake pads as well.”
Rizzo: “Yes, Madam we have everything you could possibly want and at wholesale prices. Who needs to go to the dealership and get ripped off?”
Woman: “My husband has a VW, do you carry some car parts?”
Rizzo: “Do we have car parts? Are you kidding we could build a new car with all the car parts any make and model at the lowest prices available to you wholesale prices! Madam.”
Woman: “Oh goodie — My name is X792 and my VISA number is MARS253967000001 and here’s what I’d like to buy…” Acura Car Cover Sales page 2Page 2
Woman: “I’d like to thank you for your courteous service Rizzo. I gave you an A+ rating.”
Rizzo: “My pleasure Mrs. X792. Call me if you have any problems, either I or another one of our very qualified service people will help you.”
Rizzo: “Here’s our American phone number 310-959-5965, and remember; no tax is charged outside of California.”
Woman: “Since I’m having it shipped to Mars I won’t have to pay sales tax!”
Car Covers Manager to Webmaster: “Okay… That ad was alright for now… Except why a Martian with a cat? Why not use people? The banner needs to be larger and get rid of the green.”
Cat Webmaster: “According to our latest Gallop Poll, Cats and Martins are really in… I can do the green, red, but the Cats under contract.”
Please Visit Acura Car Cover for all your Acura needs
or Car Cover needs

The Ham from ZOT: The Birds

The Hamster from ZOT: Birds1The Hamster from ZOT: The Birds
Two dogs in a police Car driving by two cats.
Yellow Tabby: “Any news?”
Grey Tabby: “Nope.”
Mr. Whiskers’ Tooth: “Japanese situation is much worse than is reported. Radiation has spread as far as Bulgaria where radioactive mushrooms have been discovered. Hawaiian Milk contaminated…”
Agent 33: “Mr. Whiskers’ tooth is picking up enenews link from Steve Quayle.”
Yellow Tabby: “That bird in the window is using a cell phone.”
Grey Tabby: “It’s times like these I wish we could fly.”
Yellow Tabby crosses his arms and stare at the Grey Tabby.
Grey Tabby: ” What!?”

The Ham from ZOT:webbots

The Hamster from ZOT:webbots1
Page 1
Marching Spider Robots and a spider hanging from a thread:”www”
ZOT headquarters, Agent 2 (the Boss) speaking to his secretary Agent 30 (Miss. Sweetums): “How is that Agent 33 working out in replacing Agent 71?”
Agent 30 (Miss. Sweetums): “Oh, that Sparrow?”
“She seems fine now.”
Agent 2 (the Boss): “She has limited access from the window.”
Agent 30 (Miss. Sweetums): “The Whisker family hasn’t looked for a new pet.”
Agent 2 (the Boss): ” 33 can pick up Mr. Whiskers tooth filling radio but can’t see what he’s looking at on the computer screen. However we have ‘Bot Spiders’ checking for suspicious net activity.”
Agent 30 (Miss. Sweetums): “Bot Spiders?”
Agent 2 (the Boss): “Everyone has Bot Spys checking what everyone else is looking at on the Net…Machines 20! Bots as in Robots.”
Agent 30 (Miss. Sweetums): “Oh?”
Chinese Siamese Cat in a Command Center, holding ‘Web Bot’ Machine: “What have you found for us today? We are just waiting for America to collapse and then we will take it over.”

The Hamster rom ZOT:webbots2
Page 2
Two Birds on a tree branch talking, (Agent 63) holding a worm by the bird’s foot “They are planning a US take over 33.”
Agent 33 (The other Bird): “Maybe China doesn’t want the
New World Order and doesn’t like the U.N. 63.”
Agent 63: “So, I’m trying to get this straight.”
Agent 33: “Isn’t it like the game of RIsk, only for real?”
Agent 63: “Yes – That ‘Billionaires’ Club’ is meeting in Switzerland – even as we speak!”
Agent 33: “So then if we are against the new World Order… we should be for the Chinese.”
Agent 63: “The Chinese pollute the world, and are cruel. They use prisoner’s kidneys – sell body parts.”
Agent 33: “Yuck.”
Agent 33: “We are between a rock and a hard place.”
Worm in Agents 63’s mouth: “Tell me about it.”
From Wikipedia: Internet bots, also known as web robots, WWW robots or simply bots, are software applications that run automated tasks over the Internet. Typically, bots perform tasks that are both simple and structurally repetitive, at a much higher rate than would be possible for a human alone. The largest use of bots is in web spidering, in which an automated script fetches, analyzes and files information from web servers at many times the speed of a human. Each server can have a file called robots.txt, containing rules for the spidering of that server that the bot is supposed to obey.In addition to their uses outlined above, bots may also be implemented where a response speed faster than that of humans is required (e.g., gaming bots and auction-site robots) or less commonly in situations where the emulation of human activity is required, for example chat bots. Recently bots have been used for search advertising, such as Google Adsense.

My Demonoid; dealing with a Daemon

The Exorcist Theme Song


My demonoid Page 1:dealing with a Daemon

dealing with a Daemon

My demonoid Page 2 dealing with a Daemon

dealing with a Daemon

The Ham from ZOT: Arab Land Grab in Jerusalem


Page 1
MEOW Agent 26 on her cat perch, looking through binoculars at the Jerusalem hillside: “Ah!”
MEOW Agent 26 on the Computer and Cell phone: “Yes, Agents could be U.N. Or Rat Moving Company.”
Skype ZOT Agent 8: “This looks like we need someone from ZOT.”
Mrs. Whiskers is cleaning the girl’s room while Agent 26 pretends to sleep on the computer chair then MEOW Agent 26 finds a secure spot in the Apartment and puts on her Gem to communicate with Headquarters.
Page 2
MEOW Agent 26: “This is Agent 26,Suspicious activity detected this morning contact ZOT.” “Please Advise.”
MEOW Headquarters: “Continue surveillance and drop a few bird-mics. See what you can pick up.”
MEOW Agent 26: “Roger, over and out.”
Agnet 26 at the window giving orders to the Birds:”Remember, Play it safe!”
Birds: “ Yes, Sir!
The Birds fly in formation overhead.
Page 3
The Birds Pooping and flying over Arab Wolves disguised as Sheep, Arab:”They don’t suspect us. We will tell the sheep to eat the grass for now.”
The Birds Pooping and flying over Sheep, Sheep:”The wolves from Rat Moving Company say the grass is ours!”
Worm 1:”What a load of Crap.”
Worm 2: “Yep”
The Birds: M.O. T. Mission Accomplished, bird-mics planted. Over and out.”
MEOW Agent:”Wolves plan on taking the grass through sheep.”
MEOW Agent: “They can Mow the lawn for now- But the land is ours forever! M.E.O.W. And Z.O.T. Are prepared.”

The Ham from ZOT interviews 2012

ZOT Agent 8 is interviewed by Kitty Katz

Caller form Mountain View CA asks a question.
Member in audience asks. Is it all Real?

The Ham from ZOT:Israeli Peppers

Arab Sheep are stealing Israeli Grass

Arab Sheep are passing gass (Farting) and flames are coming out .
Arab Sheep grazing on Jewish Jerusalem land




The Cooking Channel

The Arabic Cooking Channel for Sheep showing how to prepare frozen grass and the Palestinian Arab Sheep complaining

The Cooking Channel…”

The snow has melted, almost.

The Arabie Cooking Channel for Palestinian Sheep

Today’s lesson: Grass Souffle.

Sheepish Fuzzy, “Frozen Grass can be just as nutritious as fresh.”

Sheepish Fuzzy, “And there we have it, “Grass Souffle!”

Audience claps wildly and you hear music in the background.

Sheepish Fuzzy bows and says, “Thank you, and salami.”

Back at a sheep home, brown sheep says,”I think it’s some kind of plot to get us not to complain about our grass freezing.”

White sheep, “Israeli government must be very powerful to control the weather now.”

The Kitty Cooking Channel showing how to prepare Lamb

Page 2:

“perhaps it’s just that the grass freezes during the winter cold snap.”

Brown sheep, “But why not take advantage of this situation and blame the Jews for something?”

White sheep, “Well, I guess you’re right, after all you are the ram in the family.”

Meanwhile back at the Whisker home…

You see a kitty with headphones on looking outside with binoculars.

Agent 26, “This is agent 26 reporting: no sheep activity today on the hill.”

Zot headquarters, “Thank you 26, keep up the good work, over and out.”

Agent 26, “Will do…Roger.”

Kitty starring at the computer, bored.

She’s thinking, “You know it’s cold and boring as all get-out when you watch the cooking channel.”

On monitor it says, “Kitty cooking channel presents.”

You see a cat on the screen talking, “Today we show you how to cook slow-roasted lamb!”

The Ham from ZOT:The sheep return


The sheep return

Agent 26 is staring out the window at the hills and says to himself, “Oh I say.”

Then, “Meow!”

Mrs. Whiskers hears kitty and opens the window for Keychi and thinks to herself, “Kitty just loves that window,” while Kichi (agent 26) hops out, she flips open her cell phone, “Yes, this is 26, the sheep are back. Right they’re just eating the grass. Response from Z.O.T. Headquarters: “We’ll send a surveillance bird for now, just stay calm, over and out.”

Agent 26, “copy, Roger.”


Page 2

She thinks, “surveillance bird…my @$$.”

She starts to jump all over the room playing with her cat toys and running around the apartment.

Mrs. Whiskers drying the dishes thinks, “The cat’s so crazy, I wonder what brings on her little fits.”

Kichi goes on Skype and talks to Agent 8 (a hamster friend that works at Z.O.T.).

“Hey 8, I want some action, I’m so frustrated, just got out of the gym.”

Agent 8 responds, “Yes 26 I know what you mean, they have me on switchboard duty today, what’s a ham to do?”

Kichi-in-the-gym Kichi-n-the-window

The Ham from ZOT: Israeli Killer Drone

Kichi is waiting for the Israeli Killer Drone to wipe out the Arab Sheep

The Israeli Killer Drone arrives. It is a Bee!

Dungeons and Dragons


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