Chaz the Yeshiva Spider

Chaz-the-Yeshiva-Spider
Once upon a time there was an elderly man who was partially blind who faithfully each day attended the English program on the top floor of a prominent yeshiva. It got very cold in the Winter and blazing hot in the Summer and as they were the least important and smallest group were relegated the most uncomfortable rooms way on the top. The man’s wife always had left over cholant for the man to take with him with fruit, napkin and water along with his books and hearing protectors.
Unbeknownst to this man was outside the window where he sat lived a young tiny spider who enjoyed listening to the lectures each day and grabbed crumbs from underneath the table where the men sat. His name was Chaz. One particularly hot day when there happened to be a scorching heatwave, Chaz crawled into the elderly man’s hollow aluminum folded cane for some relief while the Rabbi was explaining a particularly difficult gemorah passage in Moloches and Chaz took a siesta. Woop! Chaz got stuck inside the man’s cane when it was unceremoniously unfolded and time to go home on the bus. Poor Chaz had been trapped inside where the circular walls were bashing him back and forth as the man moved his cane to help him see his way down the cobbled streets. He couldn’t get out, what was Chaz to do? After an amazingly long trip poor Chaz passed out and the man had left his cane extended by the apartment doorway back home. Time passed and in the bottom of the cane there was a crack large enough for him to crawl through and with his handy string he crawled up to get his barrings. A lovely cool place this was…except it was guarded by four terrifying cats who wooshed back and forth. Chaz was tiny and dark, too insignificant for the cats to see, thank heavens, and he noticed they preferred chasing an occasional fly, (he couldn’t blame them for that!). So Chaz spent the night in the cane inside a homemade hammock and in the morning would go back to the yeshiva on the bus. This went on for sometime and foolish Chaz thought it was a lark.
One evening unbeknownst to Chaz it was the man and wife’s wedding anniversary and they had a date to go to the felafel stand in the center of town. (Listen, if you don’t have much cash this is a special treat!) The wife decided to not have an overpriced drink so as to save a little money but still enjoy a wonderful lafa bread felafel with the works inside. The only problem was when they sat down after washing that the music playing was some hideous American 80’s rock n roll , but oh well…the hecksure was good and they each had a stool to sit on. The Lafa sandwiches were so good and not expensive and she was content as she didn’t have to cook dinner. On the way home the happy couple got seats in the front and the bus was air conditioned. Chaz was dangling on the end of the man’s cane, he had been sick from the horrible noise and couldn’t resist the cool air. Just then the wife spotted Chaz and almost screamed but being now considered an Israeli with her identity card and all, she bravely grabbed the man’s cane and tipped it upside down. Surprised as all get out Chaz freaked and he ran down towards the bus driver. The man’s wife explained what just occurred to her husband who then mentioned that he had noticed a cobweb everyday on the cane’s handle. He also had an Israeli identity card and had always been brave, his wife always admired him for that.
“Ech!” said his wife, “you were walking each day with a spider on your cane, how could that be?”
“Well, the cane is hollow and when I fold it up each day,” he explained .
“So, the spider climbed inside I guess,” concluded his wife.
And now the spider’s stuck in the 8 bus …forever.
And the moral of this story is:
If you don’t make proper arrangements and sign a contract you might get caned.
Or …desperation may lead to certain doom.
A-bird-in-the-upright-piano
A Story from Los Angeles, California:

I have a funny story. Last week, I was playing the piano at work and after like 20 min or so, I hit a low note and it just thumps. I wonder what the heck, because I fixed all the keys that did that. I shine a light and I see a bird just relaxing and perched on a few hammers. I named the bird Spaci

No no no Cat – Harmonizator

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