Surviving the Loss of a Friend – A Roundtable discussion

Surviving the Loss of a Friend - A Roundtable discussion Page 1
Today we are having our discussion on the process of change.
Dr. Dog: “Now I’d like to introduce Dr. Cat.”
Dr. Cat: “First of all I’d like to say, change equals loss equals grief.” “A change of circumstances of any kind produces a loss which in turn will produce a grief reaction. When unresolved can lead to mental, physical, and sociological problems and contribute to family dysfunction across generations.”
Dr. Dog: “Now, I’d like to introduce Dr. Tweet on the 5 stages of Really Bad News.”
Dr. Tweet: “Yes, Thank you Dr. Dog… One can even call this the 5 stages of
• Trauma:
• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance.
This can take a long time or be resolved soon enough depending on how the loss is perceived.”
Dr. Dog: “this is all very fascinating Dr. Tweet; however I have found this process can be speeded up.”
Dr. Tweet: “No!”
Surviving the Loss of a Friend - A Roundtable discussion Page 2
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Dr. Tweet: “Dr. Dog, whatever the change, it is the response of the organism to minor through sever trauma…” “It was mentioned that grieving only begins where these 5 stages leave off… and if the criminal justice system is involved it can take years.” Dr. Dog: “Dr. Cat, Perhaps you wish to extrapolate.”
Dr. Cat: “A common definition of grief work also used is summarized by T.E.A.R. acronym.
T= To accept reality of loss
E= Experience pain
A= Adjust to the New Environment
R= Reinvest in the New Reality.
This is Grief Work at it’s finest.” “further more let’s throw out the 5 stages of grief and replace it with a greater understanding of grief recognition and resolution.”
Dr. Tweet: “Let me remind you Dr. Cat, we must not forget the importance of Anger!”
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Dr. Dog: “Dr. Tweet, need I remind you to please… keep our heads and seats… Grieving… is a personal and highly individual experience.” “There are Myths about the 5 stages Dr. Tweet… of receiving catastrophic News…. which can never be generalized some stages come in different orders.”
Dr. Cat: “Perhaps Dr. Dog we might speak upon the Myth that if you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.”
Dr. Dog: “Of course Dr. Cat.”
Dr. Cat: “Yes, you don’t have to cry -you may show pain in other ways.”
Dr. Tweet: “I must digress! ANGER must be felt.” Anger at the lousy, no good, freaky X-friend!”
Dr. Dog: “Anger Dr. Tweet? What? und we are past denial.”
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