Mildred

Mildred_s-Dilemma
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Mildred’s Dilemma
I got a health book here and it talks about curing diseases by eating well. One may cure Alien polyps by eating blueberries for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I like blueberries as much as the next person, but I’d rather have homemade Snow White’s Cake with Seven Dwarves Frosting found in The Neighborly Cook Book Cooking with the Supernatural World sold on Amazon written by Suzanne Schulman/Butterfield.. . ( just throwing in a plug)
The_Neighborly_Cookbook_CoverBuy from Amazon.com…or even making Divinity candy (Ogre Divine candy)…slurp.Blueberries are a good antioxidant but this health book says to eat no eggs, no chicken, no red meat, no fish and no dairy and that means no canned whipped cream you squirt out on top of sponge cake but I could still have the strawberries…..berries….humf.
This health book says to eat only plants, as plant food heals while everything else has been systematically destroyed by pollution, radiation and chemicals by mankind. So now we are left with rabbit food.Even if I ate a human, he has been consuming all the polluted groceries even food from the frozen sections of your local market filled with chemicals, preservatives, additives, and food coloring. Sigh…Maybe I’ll just make Snow White Cake with Seven Dwarves Frosting, it’s healthier than eating a person.
 © 2016 JerusalemCats.com S. Schulman/Butterfield
Mildred-Alien-Humor
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Let’s Talk about an American disease we acquire while living in the USA. “Biting Humor”
Each nation has their own type of humor which reflects the country of origin…since from a young age people are taught to smile and not insult anyone else public ally they secretly harbor unleashed feelings that you can see in people’s eyes. The feelings comes out insidiously in their humor. Sarcasm unleashed is an epidemic that needs to be overcome. You can see it in the upcoming elections as politicians smile but look at their eyes while they are speaking .
Sayings such as:
“Bite the Big Apple”
“The Government took a Bite out of my paycheck”
“Computer Bites”
“Bite the Bullet”
And, that new media Vampire craze going on these days in Hollywierd,
Are you following me?
So lets just be funny…without the sarcasm and say what you mean in small talk and in the world.**be sure to have life insurance and a good hospital plan.
Mildred_s-World
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Mildred’s cheerful reasons why your husband should have scheduled learning each day

They teach your husband to be nice to their wives: a good thing.

1. Damage control: No matter how angry you get he usually says, “Yes Dear” and I calm down with no actual damage done to the home, pretty neat.
2. Overcoming anger: When your husband does get angry…you aren’t as affected as this usually happens when he’s sick or tired and can’t help himself and you then have the wisdom to see this and not beat him up with the frying pan: good job.
3. Screen his friends whenever possible as learning with serious minded men causes your husband to remember the positive things and not foolish things he would otherwise pick up.
4. Learning keeps him out of your way for longer periods of time. Who wants to look at a man’s back while he’s glued to Star Trek reruns.
5. Learning saves you from having unnecessary conversations. After all, after 7 years what’s to talk about?
6. When he’s unemployed you can at least not have him depressed at home, push him out the door and make yourself an appointment with a psychiatrist..

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